GPT and me…
Collaborating with the machine. A short dump of interactions between myself and AI.
Updated infrequently!
A collaborative writing practice, between Stewart Ainslie and ChatGPT.
September 12th 2024.
I had a shot at writing a haiku the other week, which took ages and didn’t come naturally.
Naturally, I turned to ChatGPT.
What follows is a simple excercise purely to satisfy my own curiosity.
I’m still not sure about AI… but it did take a draft and ruin it.
A haiku traditionally has a pattern of 5-7-5 syllables.
Stew’s original - V1:
When we are lost,
We can ask the winter machine
The winter of man?
Broken down:
When (1) we (1) are (1) lost (1), (4 syllables)
We (1) can (1) ask (1) the (1) win-ter (2) ma-chine (2) (8 syllables)
The (1) wi-nter (2) of (1) man? (1) (5 syllables)
Chat GPT version V2:
When we are so lost,
Ask the cold winter machine
Winter's end of man
This might be technically better, and I don’t hate it. It just doesn’t feel like my own idea anymore.
I refined my original and asked ChatGPT once more.
Stew’s V3:
When we are at sea,
We ask the winter machine
The winter of man
?
I’m happier with this and feel it’s still mine to own. With heart in throat, I asked for a full review from my digital collaborator.
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
What ChatGPT had to say…
This version of the haiku feels even more evocative, incorporating a vivid metaphor ("at sea") that opens up new layers of meaning.
Here's my review:
Syllable Structure:
Let’s check the syllables for this one:
When we are at sea, (5 syllables)
We ask the winter machine (7 syllables)
The winter of man (5 syllables)
This is now perfectly aligned with the traditional 5-7-5 haiku form, so in terms of structure, it's spot on!
Imagery:
"When we are at sea"
This phrase is rich in metaphor. It can literally refer to being lost in the ocean, or symbolically convey feelings of uncertainty, isolation, or being adrift in life. It’s a very strong, relatable image that sets the tone beautifully.
“The winter machine":
This still remains a powerful image, blending something cold and mechanical with nature. It suggests turning to something unfeeling or systematic in times of need or confusion.
“The winter of man”
The repetition of "winter" still works effectively. It evokes a sense of existential coldness or perhaps the decline of humanity, which can be interpreted in many ways—either as a reflection on human nature, aging, or the inevitability of death.
Emotion & Tone:
The shift from "lost" or "stuck" to "at sea" adds depth and a subtle layer of emotion. Being at sea implies a vast, overwhelming environment, which can evoke feelings of insignificance or powerlessness. The final line, "The winter of man," still feels melancholic, almost like a final, cold realization. The tone overall is introspective, and the sense of searching remains strong.
Flow:
The flow in this version is much smoother. Each line transitions well into the next, making it easier to follow the emotional journey from being "at sea" to relying on the cold "winter machine" to confronting the existential "winter of man."
Overall Rating:
Creativity: 9/10 – The metaphor of being "at sea" adds a lot of depth and complexity.
Emotion: 8/10 – The emotional weight is well conveyed, and the shift from uncertainty to a cold realization is powerful.
Form: 10/10 – The haiku now fits the traditional syllable pattern perfectly.
Chat GPT, ““This version is more polished and complete. Would you like any further refinements or suggestions?”
Stew, “No thanks ChatGPT.”